i don't particularily want to deal with brass quintet tonight. i know there is going to be anger, and misunderstanding, and things might not go very well. i am hoping that everyone (namely chris and davis) will keep their tempers and we can put the past week behind us, move on, and be a strong performing ensemble. this is my hope--not necessarily what will happen, i suppose. i know that there is a lot i can do to keep things smooth, and i know that this is my duty since in many ways i only aggravated a situation that was starting to heal over.
the situation as it stands is: rehearsal (and coaching) was cancelled last wednesday night because miah had an emergency and needed Chris to travel with him. now, granted we hadn't had coaching on monday because of the trumpet masterclass, but this is acceptable, someone was in need and chris stepped up to help. The problem was he didn't notify us. He told Mike, and Stevens, but not Davis Sean or I. The three of us and John show up for coaching, and no Mike or Chris. John told us to rehearse anyway, so we did, got some work done, and called it a night. Despite this I felt like we needed to schedule another rehearsal, pronto, some talk was tossed around about friday early evening, never went through, so we waited til saturday night to schedule a rehearsal for sunday night. circumstances in this instance were kind of rare--i had an inservice til 9 and mikey had to work til 10. so we couldn't pull it off. I went to the inservice, came home, and got the message via Davis around 10 that Chris wanted to rehearse at 7:30 the next morning. Now, I have said before that I am prepared to dedicate a lot of time to this quintet, but 7:30 makes me cringe. This is the part where I'm not sure whether I should feel selfish or justified: 7:30 am is early, but being there at 7:30 means you have to get up at least by 6:45 to be ready/well-adjusted for the rest of the day. If you want to warm-up before, well, add another hour earlier to that. Getting the message at 10 meant I wouldn't get enough sleep and thereby the rest of my day would be a trial---and on Mondays I have a lot of day to get through. I also am thinking about my recital, and how it takes precedence over lots of things. If I'm crabby on Monday, I won't practice well Monday night, the rest of my week will be off in terms of sleep, and there is the potential of getting sick. I'm not being a hypochondriac, or overly anxious, I'm just conscious that I have to take care of my body for the next month to insure that I am in best possible health for my recital. I know that one 7:30 am rehearsal will not harm this. but here's the other side of the coin: don't make me get up at 6:30 on a monday morning just because you don't think you can get your head out of your ass for a coaching. If you are unsure about your notes, practice them. if you can't count your part, put a metronome with it. welcome the real world--one rehearsal, one concert. bam. that's all you get. now i understand that i have often ranted about being prepared for meetings with john, and it's not like i am a stellar first class musician who can read her music down without error. but at some point we have to take responsibility for our own playing and make it work. calling an early am rehearsal, in my opinion, will not solve anything.

so, am i right or am i just being pig-headed? in a way this was an exercise to get my thoughts organized before BQ. in another way i suppose i should have just agreed to the early rehearsal and we'd be done with it. i'd be tired, but i'd survive. to a certain degree i owe the quintet an apology. we can't be so stubborn in life that we never see eye to eye. chris owes davis an apology, davis owes chris an apology. i am hoping that this is quick and easy and we can put it behind us and start playing music and being good friends again, because those are the two most important things.