yesterday was, in so many words, a miserable rotten no-good bad day.

i hate being depressed (not that anyone particularily digs it) because for me it always happens when there is no one around who is willing to listen. or give hugs. and not even little things (like half-smiles of pleasant surprise to see you) do any bit of good (in this case, it only made the knives sink deeper). sigh.

but today is a new day, a busy day...and hopefully it will be better.

it's ironic that Friday night I loved making music...there was so much thrill and passion and energy...and Saturday night it was hell to even listen to music. Friday night I knew what I wanted; Saturday night I sunk back into indecision. sigh. little chunks of my heart keeping blacking out or dying of asphyxia. the chunks that manage to revive need a good stiff drink before they can continue with their heartly business. as do i, as do i. (but we can substitute stiff drink with large bowl of ice cream)