i know you want to be amused

so here's your drunk post, from me to you. happy birthday!

i had a handful of martinis at the martini ranch. suddenly the world is right again. i own lots of things with rainbows on them. hi everyone! i like boys and girls! that's totally bi!

i am so going to regret this in the morning. thankfully i'm not so drunk i can't correct my typos.

children, i am still mad at mr cole for screwing me over in high school while he was worshipping jeff watkins pansy ass. damn. i can play the trombone ten times better than that dude any day.

and i'd better play it well tomorrow because I have a lesson with Sean Flannigan. Hm. What to play?

whoa. i need a girlfriend. where's jerry?