Saturday, July 24, 2004

only connect

I started to write a post here about how looking forward I am to Texas, where I will hopefully begin to meet people who will fill me with that intense joy of getting to know lifelong friends. It was inspired by last night, a silly and fabulous evening of bowling, DDR, air hockey and late night Denny's with friend Mike from work. I was going to say some shit about how it was thrilling to finally hang out with someone I connect with and can hence "be myself" with, but I got about halfway through all these tortured lonely-girl sentiments and thought, fuck.

The fact is, I already know this, you already know this, and there's not one single reason why I should waste your precious blog-reading time with it. There are people out there in the world that are fun to be with and there are others that you just either don't fit in with or don't like much. About equal numbers of both, I'd say, and anywhere you go you're bound to find a handful of wonderful joyous friends to keep you company. This is not in anyway to say that any of my current friends are replacable which of course they are not, and I still miss them deeply.

It used to be my thing to piss and moan about how there were only a very few people in the world that I felt comfortable enough in their company to let off the facade I normally wear (the kinds of people I can say shocking shit to, like "tuna just doesn't taste as good without the dolphins"), but lately I've been thinking that this is useless. I've decided to be unashamedly and unabashedly myself with everyone I interact with on a personal level from henceforth and see just where it gets me. I'm a weird kid, I make weird noises, I think weird thoughts, and hell if I bottle that shit up anymore.

You know the one thing that I am really excited for about Texas? The fact that I'll actually start thinking of something interesting to blog about instead of this self-examination drivel. Man, I did all that crap in high school and college. Now's the time to start using everything I know to have a fucking good time at life, no apologies.