i feel like i don't deserve to be unhappy. ever. it seems to me that every time i feel depressed everyone runs away from me. "let's give lorn some time until she feels better and then she can be happy and make us all laugh again." shitty. i really don't want to be alone!!! but i am. and i hate crying and i hate being sad but most of all i hate having one of the reasons that i stay sad longer be that everyone seems to not care. please, if you're reading this blog right now, tonight, just give me a call. i don't care who you are, i'm tired of being lonely and unattractive and fucked up. tell me to snap out of it, tell me that self-pity is never worthwhile and anyway, just plan ridiculous. please.