I'm trying very hard to have a good year...but so far it is just not happening.

Lesson learned last night: The more you look forward to things, the more disappointing they will be. I also realized that I am absolutely FED UP. Meaning, as much as I try to be myself and have a good time, I always end up concerned about what so-and-so will think about me, do they like me etc etc. So I'm fed up with this attitude. And I just feel very apathetic about everything (except bass trombone). I need some inspiration, I need to feel like I'm going somewhere...everything is so stagnant. I don't understand myself, either. I have nothing to complain about, but in my head there is always something wrong. The ghost of self-pity.

disappointment also extends to people: to friends, to boys, to society, to everyone. it's like dan's quote...but my island just seems to be miles and miles away from everyone else's. continental drift. I wish there wasn't so much in my head...maybe then i would find some peace and happiness. praise to the simple-minded! may we all strive to be less like Rabbit and more like Pooh-Bear.