last november

Last November was the month Ben and I became friends. This November we find ourselves thousands of miles apart, just when I need someone to lean on the most. I miss you, Ben. I miss sitting on the couch with my head on your shoulder and your friendly comfort keeping me upbeat. I miss getting you drunk and bitching with you about everything and anything. I miss being a part of a friendship that everyone recognized as unstoppable and unshakable.

Last November I was getting to know Leah as well (Happy birthday lady). This November we're far apart too, just when I need someone to take me out and make me shake my booty for whomever- even if it's just for myself. I miss the random hysterical moments and the long serious chats. I miss how you taught me not to take myself so seriously and how you talked sense into me regardless of how shitty things were.

I miss the both of you, the three of us together, because I've never been in a friendship group so amazing as ours. It had its issues, sure. It had its jealousies and insecurities just like anything else. But for the most part- could anything change the way we took on Denton and made it our own? What couldn't we do? We had everything at our fingertips and more just by the very virtue of being there for each other.

Sometimes I can't imagine how I ever lived without the two of you, although I know I did just fine. Trouble is, now I'm having a hard time. Now. Living in the now without being able to call one or both of you up and arrange a meeting at the Greenhouse or a trip for lunch somewhere, or just have you over for a movie...Now. Is not working.

I guess I'm okay. No, I'm just fine. But I miss you. Is that clear? Heh, I didn't think I'd said it enough. Everything's fine. Everything's always
Just.
Fine.