did my last blog make any sense? I really don't even remember writing it. You know, today wasn't a bad day, but the more tired I get the later it gets in the day, the more I can't remember anything or think complete thoughts or anything. I just end up getting lonely and dejected. Weird, huh? Lonely in the sense that it's been way too long since my last physical encounter with the opposite sex. Sad. Way sad since the last physical encounter was Dave and man, that's three and a half years. Dejected because, why can't I just get over myself and my hangups? Argh. I've decided I can't compete with people in social situations. I will always seek to be the retiring voice (unless of course it's an easily won battle, then i just talk too much) or come up with something entirely stupid and non-related to say. Hmm. My mind is just spinning around in circles searching for something to attach to. It's not having much luck. You know what my first thought was? I should call Ryan. Whoa...bad idea. I shouldn't call him until I have something for us to do together. You know what? I'll probably do it anyway. Like I said before, I already know what I'm going to do, I just have to argue with myself for a while before I can accept it. I argue with myself A LOT. And yes, sometimes I do lose.

the main problem with my rant on living life is that it's totally incoherent. I apologize. Now, if I'm going to do what I'd said I'd do, I need to get offline.

good grief I have no common sense whatsoever