for those of you who were wondering my opinion...

on NBC's new reality tv show Average Joe.

Last night I was flipping channels and came across this program. I must admit I watched it with some amount of fascination. The premise, if you are unaware, is that one lovely lady will have a chance to pick her "dream guy" from a cast of 16, ala Joe Millionaire. Unfortunately, as the website states, "the joke's on her" because her dream guys are less than beautiful. The show is playing a prank on Melana, who is advertised as being every hetero man's dream girl- a "former NFL cheerleader and beauty queen"-and who was also quoted as saying that she was "looking for a good personality."

Well, Melana has stood up to my expectations and proven herself to be a genuine person-although the camera made much of her initial reaction to seeing an "average" slightly overweight and shiny-skinned man step out of the limo, she remained gracious and friendly throughout the evening. She seems like a great woman, funny, intelligent, and understanding. I think she realized that the show was playing a joke on her and she decided to make the best of it and shove it back in their faces. Those viewers who are looking for the stereotype of a catty, shallow beautiful woman will not find it in Melana.

Now, as far as my opinions on the premise of the show go, let's jump right in, shall we? It's a terrible idea and just one more indication of how far our culture of beauty has gone to make people feel bad about being "average." And that placing a beautiful woman in the company of 16 self-admitted "geeks" and "nerds" who have been played up to be slightly less than Prince Charming is ample material for humor and sensationalism in today's society. Because we all know that beauty and average cannot co-exist. While being terribly insulting to the contestants (were I in their place I would certainly consider breaking contract), it is also insulting to the girl herself by assuming that she will prove the stereotypes about her.

But perhaps the producers did expect Melana to be gracious and friendly. In this case they are challenging society's impressions of "average" and "beautiful." Maybe they are "average joes" themselves and want to see the "nice guy finish first." But that also assumes that "nice" and "gorgeous" are mutually exclusive, while these guys being ugly or fat makes them the cream of the emotional crop (never mind that one guy's comment "oh yeah, I'm gonna get some hot ass"). I think the whole premise is faulty, and it is up to Melana to prove that none of these things are important. Unfortunately, I can see how this will all get blown out of proportion and a huge deal will be made out of "beauty and the beast" or whatnot. Because our stereotypes and enforced cultural opinions on beauty are steeped in a long tradition of financial backing. But I won't get into that and you can read my Nov 7th post for more. :)

Interesting to think how this would work if reversed. Consider several different options.

1. Keep the same sixteen "unattractive" men (although I consider Tareq to be rather dashing and handsome...perhaps it's because he's not white that he's an "average joe") but find a woman that doesn't meet cultural standards of beauty. Someone who wasn't a beauty queen. Put me in there for example. Measure me up to the beauty myth and you'll find I don't fit. Will those men be equally as gracious as Melana was to them? Or will they be disappointed and angry? Consider that standards of beauty are much harsher for women. What then?

2. One dashing man and sixteen "Average Janes." Some pudgy, some flat-chested, some with less than perfect skin. Again, would the star be gracious and open-minded? Would women stand for their treatment as "average," perhaps seeking drastic ways of conforming to the beauty myth, or would they protest being called "average" and be confident in their beautiful personalities to win the hunk's heart?

3. Sixteen gorgeous women and a less than perfect hero. Again, think about what the reactions might be. Would the hero see himself as king of a cast of beauties? Would he objectify the women or feel insecure in his charm? Again, what price, open-mindedness?

Of course, 1 and 2 would not work because Average Janes are not given any media attention, and are basically denied the right to exist. Woman must be a trophy-and who wants a tarnished or ill-made trophy? Note the contestants' collective excitement that Melana is beautiful. Were they expecting anything less?

What I have learned from this scenario is that we are paying a heady price for our own body images, and for setting up ideals and sacrificing those who don't fit to the category of "average." There is something fundamentally wrong with a culture than can take two people who are intelligent, caring, humorous and open-minded-some of the best characteristics of the human race-and set them apart from each other because one is "beautiful" and the other "average." It is also telling of how the beauty myth is seeping into men's space as well, and how soon we might all be consumed.

I really have to get a comment function on this thing. I'd love to hear your thoughts. an email, perhaps.