the great escape

Tomorrow begins my two week journey of locations other than Texas. I'm spending ten days in California again, hitting up the Martini Ranch and the beach and Denny's, of course. Christmas will be as usual: my parents and I will get up, open presents, eat breakfast, shower, and go see the longest movie we can all agree on seeing so that we don't really have to talk to each other. It's a strong testament to our family dynamic that we can't stand each other for very long but we still feel obligated to spend the holidays together. Likely after the movie I will read or sit in front of the computer, until we eat dinner, and then we'll all watch TV in separate rooms until tired enough for sleep. My mom and I might take a tour of that one neighborhood in Poway where they go apeshit with the X-mas decorations.

So, I have no real love for Christmas. It's always been a difficult (well, okay, boring) holiday for me because it's not the gathering of family chaos that it is for many people. Just my dad, my mom and me. Used to be I had a dog as well...

To top it off there's so many reasons NOT to celebrate that all I can manage to drum up in the way of holiday spirit is resentment. I can't afford to get my parents much for presents, so I'll be going the crafty route. My dad never likes anything I give him anyway, and then I feel badly because I usually take in some nice loot. This year it's a digital camera, something I want very much and have to swallow a lot of guilt to accept. Don't worry, I'll do it. ;)

The real holiday for me is going to be New Year's. The "family" I miss the most is in Madison still, for the most part, and this year Jason and I aren't the only ones coming in from out of town. Emily's thinking about it and Chris is almost definite. If we had Bethany and Davis, it'd be a bona fide reunion, but there's also the possibility of seeing Ian and Miah and maybe Grant? (I'm guessing) I'm not trying to get my hopes up for the best time ever, because I've learned my lesson about expectations, but at the same time I know that with this crowd, adventure is a given.

Am I ready to go back to Madison as a visitor, or will it kill me to leave again like it did last February?

Oh, and then there's the weirdest feeling of all- the only thing about Texas that's really pissed me off in the past two weeks or so has been the drivers. All the rest of it...well, it's too weird and too soon to start admitting these things. I'd like to suppress it for a little while longer, if you don't mind the wait.

But then again, Texas drivers piss me off so much that it's almost reason enough to leave in itself.