words fail me

Scene: I'm at the laundromat, minding my own business, just finishing up with my 85,000 lbs of laundry and listening to Tim's excellent mix CD he made for me (which, by the way, is exactly as long as doing laundry!). It's just me and the guy closing the place, hanging out and stuff.

In runs a woman, yelling loudly "I havta use your bathroom! Please sir can I use your bathroom?!!!?!?"

To which he replies, "Sorry, out of order!"

"Lemme use it anyway! I gotta pee sooo baaad! OH LORD I've got to pee. OH!" (This last "OH!" is like a squeal; you can hear the pain in her voice as it sweeps up into her brain and stifles every last thought except the one that says "EVACUATE BLADDER IMMEDIATELY" with accompanying flashing red light.

"FUCK IT! I'm going outside!"

So she runs back out the door and around, and I figure she's going to go around the back of the building maybe, or find herself a bush. I go back to folding laundry.

Something catches my eye, and as I look up again I see that she's squatting right in front of the laundromat...

Directly in front of my driver's side door.

This lady peed a veritible Mississippi (and I will give her that, the liquid evidence did not fail her intense need for urination) not in front of my car, not behind it, not on the passenger side...

But right by my fucking driver's side door.

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...

...

Wow.