what the fuck, texas? #9

Homecoming at my high school was a football game, a dance, and a week preceding of cheesy spirit events that I never failed to ignore. I was never able to go to the Homecoming dance as the Mt Carmel band tournament never failed to take place on the same night.

Homecoming in Texas apparently involves buying your sweetie a large, jangly, streamer-bedecked 'mum with a teddy bear attached to the middle and having them pin it to either their arm or their chest, depending on gender.

Example A.

Example B.

Notice how in ex. B you can barely even see the poor girl. She's covered in four feet of glittery tradition and she loves it! That thing's gotta weigh like 10 lbs.

The Dallas Morning News tells us how it is.

It's officially confirmed: Texas exists in some sort of bizarro-reality. There's a real Texas somewhere, but it got misplaced in the Great Dimension Warp of '34. Never been the same since.