Thursday, September 14, 2006

hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you

I'm in this place lately that I'm really loving. It's happiness even on top of stress, it's joy in little things and the ease of moving freely through the world.

It starts like this:

I wake up, it doesn't matter what time. Lately it's been earlier in the morning and the first thing I notice is the air. It's cool and crisp, the sun is just coming up, and there's a breeze. I'm under the covers and there's a cat or two or three (sheesh) at my feet (or if it's Gatsby, in my face purring and getting cat snot all over me). I have time to think casually about what I need to do during the day.

Cats continue to follow me around, tripping me up, knocking over my deodorant and moisterizer and whatever else in their path to greeting me with the new day. After I shower I can make breakfast. Vegetarians: isn't it awesome? Do you ever look at what you're eating and think, 'this is amazing, and good, and healthy, and I made it. I made this'? I get that feeling a lot. Today I made: scrambled eggs with black beans and green chile (authentic New Mexican!) salsa and cheese to top it all off. It was delicious. Friggen delicious.

And then I get all ready to go and I ride my bike to school. I ride my bike four miles, and it's awesome. Not only am I saving gas, I'm exercizing, feeling the power of my body and the flow of air through my lungs and coming alive, bit by bit.

And maybe that day I have class with my favorite professor and there's jokes and information and intelligence and the flow of knowledge is like the flow of air, it makes you come alive in new ways, and you start to tingle a little.

And you like your friends and your trombone and your life, and it makes you giddy. Maybe you think of something sad, like I did this morning. A realization that something's not the same or something is lost. But the tears are real too, and they are part of the joy.

But you're giddy and silly and no one can stop you. What's the term? Fearless and unstoppable. Open and free. Extraordinary.

It's those little things that are getting to me. The good food, the exercise, the knowledge. They're bigger things, grander things because I grant them importance and feeling. I like it. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop, or life to twist around again.

I think it's the weather. Hullo September! Nice to see you.