i'm not a bum any more, guys!

I got a job today. And it was the easiest job getting ever. In the whole history of job getting. All I had to do was sit through an hour's orientation, fill out a W-9, and pick up some forms, and I'm set.

The best part is, I'm going to be making bank. Bank, I tell you. (said in Dr Zoidberg voice)

And what's my job you ask? Well, I'm a petition circulator. You know those people that sit in front of grocery stores and get signatures to put things on the ballot...well apparently they're not volunteers, and they're making serious dough. For every signature I get, depending on the particular petition, I get anywhere between $1.50-3.50. There's ten spaces on each petition, I have two sheets of seven different petitions, and if I get just one person to fill out all of them, I get $15.50. If I fill out all 140 slots...well, you do the math (psst...it's $2170). Bank! BAAAAAAAAAAANK!!!!

And, it's given me the only legitimate reason I can't think of to like the Republican party. For each person I register to vote that checks Republican on their form, I get $1.50. Heee!

I can go back and get as many forms as I want, work as long as I want, and get paid twice a week.

Also, this all has to be finished in 5 weeks, which would be just about when I'll be making plans to move (wherever that may be), and if I average $500/day (which they said was absolutely reasonable) 5 days a week for 5 weeks, I will have $12,500 to my name (Davis, if 5 never was my lucky number before, it is now). Feasibly, I could just chill this summer, or just travel all over the fuckin' place. Hells yes.

Again I say, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!!!!!

I start tomorrow. I'm trying to decide where I shall sit. I'm thinking Ralphs, or perhaps the Albertson's over in Carmel Mountain. On Saturday it would be extremely profitable to be at Home Depot, but it doesn't seem to me that they have room in front of their store what with the 2X4s and the palm trees. It seems like it would be a good idea to take a trip north and chill in Temecula or San Clemente, as San Diego is pretty much covered. Hey, the gas'll pay for itself. I like to think of this as a big fundraiser, only I'm the charity and I get to keep the money.

So far, the best part of all of it is, I got to make huge ass posterboard signs, and play with sharpies. I love sharpies.

When I get my first paycheck, I am going to buy myself Futurama Vol 1 as a "you rock my world, me" present. And maybe a DVD player while I'm at it. And this apron, for Jerry.

Not to mention, now I can pay for my trip to DC. Oh yeah, and go to Colorado for the Brass Institute. BAAAAAAANK!!!!!