right on, woman. now step up, men

I'd like to point y'all over to Ms Lauren's particularly lucid discussion on rape and rape culture today, and especially encourage my male readership to pay close attention. This is for you, boys, you're responsible today whether you like it or not.

I'll wait.

Oh, you're back? Okay, now it's my turn.

Her points are all valid, and well-made, thus I don't feel like I can accurately reproduce them here. In my life I have been incredibly lucky to escape any major incidents of sexual assault or abuse. I say lucky, because many women have not been. 1 in 5, and that report is from 1996. Add to that the fact that many women do not feel comfortable reporting a sexual crime in our culture's atmosphere of blame and responsibility centered on women. Because I have not been subjected to sexual assault (besides the ever-annoying catcalls and the like) and the statistic is so high, I am on guard when I find myself in certain situations. I take pride in being strong and healthy, therefore in some ways equipped to resist a potential attacker. I could further my confidence by taking self-defense or carrying mace or a weapon (self-defense would be more likely, in my case). But, as Ms Lauren points out, rape culture is not only a "woman's issue." I would like to see the numbers on that statistics sheet reversed, to show how many men commit sexual assault or rape. The onus is on men, in that case, to stop seeing women as victims but men as victimizers. There's a difference. A victim can play the card, or recover and become a survivor, but it was not his or her choice to become a victim, regardless of his or her behavior, dress, or physical location. Important to note here is that men are victims of sexual violence as well but that perpetrators are almost always men. [both links via Feministe]

It's the little things that make rape culture less powerful. Not laughing at a violent (toward women or gay men) or homophobic joke, and making a point that it is not funny, is one small way. Using language that places responsibility where it belongs is another, such as saying "men rape" rather than "a woman was raped." It means understanding more fully what's happening with both the University of Colorado and the Kobe Bryant case. It means learning to see women as people, not sexual objects. Protesting violent ads or movies (I learned from Cunt that 1 in 8 major Hollywood movies has a rape scene. Most of them are eroticized.), is as simple as not giving your money to these institutions. If you know a man who disrespects women (or gay men, or even "effeminate" straight men) in a sexual or violent way, socially boycott him. Let him know his behavior has cost your friendship.

And please, never never never EVER say shit like this:

There is a connection between the increasing disrespect shown to women in our society and an ultra-feminist ideology that pushes teenage girls to play a brutal contact sport with teenage boys.

A boy on a coed football squad -- or playing against a coed squad -- faces an irreconcilable conflict between his duty as a man and his duty as a player. As a man, he must never strike a woman. As a player he must strike teammates during scrimmages, and opposing players during games, fairly and within the rules but with all the force he can muster.

[...]To do that safely, she has to practice hitting and being hit. For a boy to play football with a girl, the boy must become habituated to hitting girls.

That is not merely un-American, but uncivilized. There are many endeavors where men and women rightfully compete on the same playing field (I'd pick Margaret Thatcher to run Great Britain over Tony Blair any day), but the football field is not one of them. American schools should ban girls from playing football, and do it now.

Excuse me, but that makes ME feel violent. Rat bastard.