seriously, who do i have to kill?

something just snapped in me, while i was watching tv. maybe it was the coincendental arrangement of images. the anti-variety of images of women. boobs. tans. the same too skinny, too voluptuous, too fake, too sexed female frame i see every day, day after day, on tv, on billboards, in movies, in magazines...

i am fucking sick of all of it. fucking tired of the bloody asswipe beauty myth male gaze crap that i can't avoid no matter how many times i switch channels on the tv, or even if i turn it off, i can't escape it, it's all around, i might as well live in a stupid hole in a stupid tree with a raccoon (stupid) like that one kid, in that one book. before, it made me angry, yes. i felt like it was my role as an educated person to edumacate other said persons on the ill effects of media representations of women. i can go about my business and not apply it to myself, and deny the power it attempts to claim on my self-esteem and my bank account (or can i? can i really?). but now, now i'm just angry. flaming mad. "if i were god i would rain fire down from the heavens" angry. pissed.

and it's not like any one thing really did it. first, i was watching this episode of "made" on mtv, because the girl was sweet and cool and reminded me of me. she was a nerd, and invisible, and a smart cookie (maybe i wasn't a smart cookie. maybe a smart brownie). and then she decides she wants to be in a beauty pageant (AND WHAT FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL HAS A BEAUTY PAGEANT?!?!? THAT'S FUCKED UP AND BEYOND LAME) and turns out primped and processed just like all the other girls. A looker, to be sure, and great that she found this confidence and made some friends. Is she really grown up? maybe a little bit more. is she ready for the sexuality this new beautiful her is going to force upon her? why the fuck is this high school having a fucking beauty pageant?!?!?

and then i saw this sports illustrated ad about the special edition special crap mini basketball (who wants a damn mini basketball? you can't play with it. you can't cuddle it at night. you can't do CRAP with a CRAP mini basketball) about how great it is that UCONN won the whatever they won that everyone's just shitting their pants about and i thought. WAIT A MINUTE didn't their women's team kick a lot of shit on the court this year too? Where's their special edition crappy mini basketball? oh, i bet it'd be pink. barf me with a spoon. And THEN they do the whole, subscribe/buy your crappy mini basketball now and get all these other wonderful issues of sports illustrated and they flash the issues past you and of course one of them is the swimsuit issue and that's where i just lit on fire and started foaming at the mouth. and here i am. trusted blog. ranting. sick of bullshit. sick to fucking death of bloody sexist patriarchal bullshit ass clown media. fuck. shit. cunt. bitch. wanker. to you objectifiers of women, i quote the immortal words of bender b. rodriquez(a).

bite my glorious golden ass.




SOOOOO How you all doing? Haven't heard from some of you lately. Davis? Jason? Dan? Hellooooo??? I'm doing great. I have a job, and it's easy. I work tomorrow from 11-5. I realized yesterday that even though I tried, I really tried, I just don't like Elvis Costello. I mean, I like "Shipbuilding" and that's why I checked out the greatest hits cd, but man, I just don't dig it. I still like shipbuilding though. That's a quality song. Just not the rest of them.

Thank you, and goodnight.