good news everyone!

My parents are taking a vacation April 16th-21st. They are driving to Carlsbad, New Mexico to see the fun stuff there and then spending a few days on their way back in Tucson.

Let's run that past you again. My parents are on vacation for 1-2-3-4-5-6 days! My parents are not in San Diego! My parents are not in the house bugging me! My parents are not watching TV 24-7! My parents are not doing the crossword puzzle before I can get to it! My parents are not waking me up by slamming the garage door at 7 am! My parents are not leaving plates with ketchup on them out overnight and are not annoying me with the evil day old ketchup smell!

If I had friends, I'd have a party.

I'm so totally going to walk around in various states of undress the whole time. Nekkid, if I so choose. I will masturbate on the couch. Maybe I'll get ridiculously drunk randomly and watch porn on the computer. The possibilities are endless!

You need not fear, these six days will not be wasted. However, if you are my friend and you live within a 50 mile radius of Rancho Bernardo, CA (hell, I'll even say 100 miles), you are welcome to come and get wasted with me. In my empty house. Just as long as you don't scare my dog. He has a faulty bladder.