i cannot believe this, i cannot believe this...

Were you in doubt that there is a sexual double standard? That there is an epidemic of sexual assault and abuse on the part of men toward women? That there are some truly scumbag lawyers out there?

Doubt no longer. Warning: This is a very graphic article; do not read the last half if you are emotionally triggered by acts of rape, violence, etc, or if you just don't want to deal with it. I wish I hadn't read it, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. It just kept getting worse and worse until I felt like I would burst inside.

You know, honestly, I can't even begin to be clear, academic or even focused on this issue, I just want to cry and roll into a ball. I kept imagining how that could have been me, any of my friends, my students...because it is.

And really, lately I've been thinking a lot about the wall of ignorance I came up against in one of the topics at the OTJ forum, denouncing feminism, and when I read this I thought, "why do these people want me to be afraid? why do they put down the only thing that's managed to make sense of this hateful world?"

And I what will I do, come Monday, when I go into coach my freshman boys, and look into their eyes and think, "are they capable of this? what are they being taught?"

Who do you trust? How do you live your life? What I wouldn't give to take this girl up into my arms and erase it all away- although, I'm thankful partly that she won't remember it. All she has is her imagination, and the tape, if she could stand to watch it, but what is worse, anyway?

I know he's a lawyer, and he's paid to defend, but I cannot imagine how he can sleep at night. Does he have a daughter? A wife? A mother? Does he detest all of them the way he can so easily pass judgment on a girl he doesn't know, who has visual evidence in her favor? Perhaps it is easy for him, because that's how he feels about women as well. Is he capable of this? What was he taught?