underclassmen, meet trashcan

I can't get my students to understand the importance of standing up for performances. They all look at me like I've asked them to pluck out one eyeball and eat it with ketchup. One kid even said, "no." Just "no." in the manner of, "you are nuts and I refuse." "No."

Jesus. I don't even like practicing sitting down. I get antsy in rehearsals. I like to walk around while I play. And I like having room to move and room for my lungs to expand. And then there's this:

You should never, ever, I-don't-care-if-your-leg-is-broken-you-bastard, play the trombone sitting down in a performance.* NEVER EVER NEVER! No means no. Never. Stand the fuck up.

Because:
-You can breathe better
-You have more room for movement
-You can communicate with your pianist more efficiently
-You command the stage in a more authoritative fashion
-You look like you play the trombone with confidence and strength, regardless of how you actually end up playing
-Projection, projection, projection
-You don't suck as much.

Aaaaarrggggh!

Next lesson in my new series of performance pet peeves: Tuning on stage, the devil's unholy spawn.

*With the exception of Elegy for Mippy II, of course