Monday, February 26, 2007

he's the greek god of why don't you read a fucking book

That title doesn't have much to do with my post. It's just one of the many hilarious lines Mandy Patinkin delivers on my new favorite show, Dead Like Me. I have a tremendous love for that man. Tremendous.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of filling out forms for recital and degree plan stuff, and starting to realize that, as early in the semester as it still seems, all of this is coming to a close faster than I think. I mean...after my recital I just have to do orals and take one more class in the summer. Does that seem fair? I feel like I should have to do some more academic work, if only for the reason that it would give me more time to take lessons and get better at trombone. I don't know. I'm tried of academic work but I'm not tired of trombone. I'm excited about my recital- it's not ready yet but it's close and soon I'll be at the point where I'm gunning to do it, and soon.

I was thinking back to something a trombonist I took a lesson with once said (and I know I blogged this, way back, but I can't find it right now), about how you have to live your life the way you want to play. Meaning...get out there and do it, and then do it on your horn, too.

I think I need some more of that in my life. Lately I've been getting more comments about 'letting go' and 'putting it out there', etc, etc., and I'm just annoyed enough by them to really let something rip and scare the shit out of everyone. I'm always a little scared of myself when I let go. Jean Grey/Phoenix style.

Okay, not that bad.

Anyway, I'm being shy and insecure about some romantic interest stuff, and little by little I'm starting to realize that I needn't be. Not that the other party involved likes me- this I don't know yet. But just that it's time to forget about the things I think everyone notices and start just going after what I want. There's not much of a point in whining about it anymore. And if it doesn't work...c'est la vie!

I'm smart, you know that? I'm smarter than the average bear. I like that about me. Oh, and I'm fucking hilarious.