trombone dorkiness!

Yesterday I got up bright and early (5am) to venture northward to the OC. The reason for my journey was not to go to prom with Paris Hilton, or have steamy sex on the beach and then fret about it later in my parents ridunkulously huge Spanish-style mansion overlooking the ocean (although, I would drive to the OC for hot steamy beach sex in a second). No, the purpose of my journey was far more noble, and career-expanding. Below, a recap of the events pertaining to one April 17th, 2004, aka Trombone Day LA. Warning! Likely not interesting or even comprehensible to anyone but Jason and Beatriz (and any other bonists reading).

8am: Registration. Jim Prindle, who coaches RB High's low brass, was there, so we chatted a bit.

8:30: Intro/short concert by the CSU Fullerton Trombone Choir. Nice rendition of Monochrome II by Peter Schikele (of PDQ Bach fame).

9am: Group warmup with professional trombonist Jeannie Little. I learned a lot of cool warm-up exercises here that I plan to implement...er, today, yeah. Today I will practice. ;)

10: Trombone choir readings. These were broken up into small groups: beginners, high schoolers, college and professionalers, and weekend warriors. Jeannie conducted the college group, and we played through the Flor Peeters quartet (I love that sucka), the Gordon Jacobs Octet (woot!) and Passacaglia (Bach). My lips hurt at this point. Yes, practicing today. Definitely.

11:30: Lunch is a very small slice of pizza that costs me a buck. Obnoxious.

12pm: Exhibits! Trombones to try! I fiddled around on a few Conns (eh...) and then, I saw it. A Shires orchestral tenor with T47 slide, medium weight red bell with experimental in-line valve (I told you'd I'd be dorking out). Ooooooh Mama. Why did I play this trombone? I lust. I pine, I burn. The crook was a little smaller than my Edwards (the crook determines the width of the slide), so it was easy to handle and I can imagine I could play for longer before my left hand got sore. Across the board the horn was lighter (I also tried a Shires bass with double thayer that was so easy on the wrist...) but when I played it...huge-ass golden sound. A little brighter than what I'm used to, but oh, it sounds so good. So good. That in-line valve. Smooth as buttah. Anyone got an extra $3,200 lying around?

While I was playing the Shires (mmm, Shires) two of the Bones Apart girls came giggling into the exhibit room with a video camera. They now have my stunning rendition of a three-octave Bb major scale preserved forever in their memory.

12:30 pm: Concert by Bones West, a large jazz ensemble consisting entirely of trombones, plus drums, piano and bass. While I am usually more than likely annoyed by novelty jazz acts that play poor/easy arrangements of standards (Think: Ladies Must Swing), Bones West was pretty cool. It wouldn't work with any other instrument; trombones however, are properly versatile as a choir to cover all the bases of sound and texture. So, A+.

1:30: Clinic with Bones Apart! The Main Event. The Big Kahuna. The Creme de la Creme. They opened up the clinic with a fanfare and blew us all away (no pun intended). Seriously, these cats can blow. And their technique...daa-yam. The three tenors, Becca, Becky and Carol, studied with Chris Houlding at RNCM, who if you remember I played in a master class for in November. I can see that his students do fairly well for themselves. Sheeeeit. Their playing leaves nothing to be desired. They could use a little work on their masterclass speaking/organization, but I understand that they are only just starting to do this kind of thing. It was great to see them interact though, their personalities are over the top (not under ;) and they are all freakin' hilarious. I have a crush on Lorna, the bass trombonist. Thick scottish accent! Bwah! OH yeah, and she's flawless on that sterling silver Conn...

At the end of the class they played Kabalevsky's Dance of the Comedians, and it was faster, I swear, than I've ever even heard an orchestra play it. Jaw is officially dropped.

3pm: A concert/clinic with jazz greats Andy Martin and Bob McChesney. I heard two charts, but I was just so tired I didn't feel like I could enjoy it. I'm weird about trombone jazz. Or just not really into it. Besides, in my opinion the combo is a little stale, relying too much on every playing structure: Opening theme, solo for everyone, closing theme. Meh. Those guys are great players though. I just wanted to see if I couldn't wander around and run into BA again. I didn't, but I chatted with a guy named Adam about some stuff.

5: Slide care clinic with John Sandhagen. Here's where I learned a shitload. It's cleaning day for Bernard and Bianca today, what with all I've learned on proper slide care...huzzah!

6: Adam and I drove over to a strip mall for dinner.

7:30: Prepare to be amazed. Bones Apart, in concert.
They opened with Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, JS Bach. Kicked the living shit out of anything Canadian Brass has ever done with this piece. Holy Mother of Pickles. I start to shake.
Highlight musically of the concert was the piece commissioned by Bones Apart, Secret Love Songs. Involving just about every mute know to trombonanity. Man, trombones are so cool. I need to snag a recording of this piece.
Highlight comedically of the concert was the Finale from Faust (Gounod). Heeee!! My crush on Lorna has reached epic proportions. She has a monologe describing the plot of Faust, and then the other members come out as the respective characters. They do a dance number, whilst playing. Woooo!! Tears streaming from my eyes funny.
Lots of other good stuff. One of their encores (of three) was the Star Spangled Banner, which wasn't particularly great until they got to the piccolo solo, where Carol just kicked it into high gear and trilled that mo-fucka to death. I'm still shaking.

After the concert I got their autographs and they invited everyone to come have a pint. That was pretty cool. I didn't get to talk with them much; but then again I'm a social moron around amazing musicians, so that's my own damn fault. I didn't stay long anyway-had to get home so I could deal with the poop Chipper left in the living room for me. Hurray!

All told, a day well spent. But I still shouldn't have played that Shires.