this never gets any easier

Day one of the spring semester, and I'm already unhappy with most of it.

Also, it occurs to me that drinking may be bad for you. Who would have thought?

The hardest thing I'm going to write here is this: Little Sue, the kitten rescued from the gutter outside my house, got extremely sick, sick beyond the financial means of myself or the friend that ended up taking her in, and was put to sleep on Sunday night. It was either FIV or diabetes, and there wasn't much we could do but make her comfortable. I take comfort in that she had a warm home and someone to hug her instead of living a life outside and hungry, but I feel terrible. I wish there was more I could have done.

Sue, I miss you, and I hope you are happier now where you are. You helped me appreciate what I have with Nik and Gatsby, and I love them more everyday because of it. The comfort of a kitty...that is something difficult to deal without.

Stuff for the concert competition is not going so well. The top t-bone choir audition piece is difficult, but not impossible, but I'm having trouble getting my head wrapped around being back in the swing of things. I have a lesson tomorrow and I'm sort of afraid of getting my ass kicked for various stupid things I've done lately.

I did have my first Wind Symphony rehearsal today, and that was fun. It's nice to be back in a large ensemble, doing the good stuff.

I'm going to play in the 6 O'Clock band because the director is bad-ass and I can pick my part (3rd tenor or 4th bass). I guess that'll be cool. I need the tenor experience so that's what I'll probably end up doing.

Regarding what I said below about not having cried in a while...well, it might be nice too, actually. It would make me feel a little better for being a general dumbfuck and asshat. I just don't think I can do it.

Meh. That's about it. Meh.