okay, i'm grown-up. what do i want to be?

I'm getting a little sick of my life having so many possibilities.

1. Miracles happen. I get into McGill.
-the positive: I have a direction, a justification to continue learning my music trade. Montreal is an amazing city, and I would become fluent in French.
-the negative: If this isn't what I want to do, should I waste more money and years in it?

2. I move to New York with Jerry.
-the positive: Jerry. New York. All for the sake of..moving to New York. Marisa! Could become respected free lance artist. Could intern for feminist organization, change the world.
-the negative: Expensive, I would have to work at something not music related, likely, and not have time to practice trombone. Besides, where would I practice? I've never been to NY, is it wise to move someplace you've never visited first?

3. I get a gig like Chris's in Texas.
-the positive: I'll be making money for playing trombone, and I'll be nearby a lot of musical wealth (UNT, etc). I won't have to worry about my cactus and jade hating me because I moved them back to farty weather. Plus, Chris McGann, and Jason if he goes to UNT. Good times!
-the negative: Texas. Also a place I have never been, but unlike NY, not a place I have heard wonderful things about. Again, unlike NY or Montreal, I would not be nearby Jerry, and I don't know if I can withstand another year of that. Again, opportunities for other careers (feminism) limited.

4. Summer in Madison, hang out in the fall and apply for spring admission.
-the positive: Everything about Madison in the summer. Friends, beer, bike rides. A town I know, love, and that isn't too big I can't figure out what to do with myself on a Friday night. A comfort zone, in other words.
-the negative: My crowd is leaving. There will not be the same atmosphere as my undergrad years. Winters suck. Bars suck. Shouldn't I be experiencing new things?

5. Arbitrary city: Portland, Oregon.
-the positive: Sounds like a cool place people go to if they want to start over. Lots of punks and hippies and crazy fun stuff to do. Cheap living, and lots of beautiful scenery.
-the negative: Again, I've never been there. I'm only interested in it because I read the two page spread in the last issue of Bust and was intrigued. What are the music opportunities there? I'll have no friends from the getgo.

Numbers 6, 7, and 8 can be done in any location, and are not completely mutually exclusive within themselves or with the above options.

6. Hans thinks I should be a writer.
Sure, I can turn a phrase and spell it correctly, but what kind of story teller am I? I suppose you never know until you try. With writing, I can still be a musician.

7. Become a lifeguard trainer, learn pool management.
Jerry might criticize my limited career history, but I say, if you find something you're good at AND enjoy, you shouldn't cross it off the list. Especially when it makes you more money than the average sales job. With this I could be aquatics manager at a community, university, or private pool. I could also become a swim coach.

8. Learn more web development.
Whore myself out to companies because they are always looking for web designers. I could combine my feminism with my web skills and work for Ms or FMF or something. My blog would be fantastic and world-famous. With this I could also continue music, or writing, or both, on the side.

So there you have it. The directions my life could turn in are endless and confusing. I think I will pursue no. 8 regardless, and 6 is highly likely. Because no. 1 is a longshot, I'm torn between 2 and 3, with 4 lagging, but not too far behind. Please feel free to elucidate any concerns, comments, or advice you feel you might have in this matter, as I'm always looking to add more pros or cons to the list.

Well, If I'm going keep music as an option, I'd better go make sure I can still play my trombone, at the very least.